Have you ever wondered if adoption is for you? The good news is that it requires far less than you might imagine. You won’t need superhuman qualities in order to love a child unconditionally. Fortunately, most prospective adoptive parents already possess all of the attributes they need for a successful adoption.
If you have ever wondered whether you have what it takes to be an amazing adoptive parent, check out this list of important qualities that will help you navigate your adoption journey.
Patience
Patience is required during every step of the adoption process. You will wait while a social worker completes your home study. You will wait to be matched with a birth mother. You will wait for the baby to arrive. You will wait for the legal paperwork to be completed. You will wait for that court hearing that finalizes the adoption. Waiting is a mandatory part of an adoption process, so its important for prospective adoptive parents to embrace patience from the very beginning.
Flexibility
Things don’t always happen according to your timing when it comes to adoption. You have to be a little bit flexible to work with your agency, the hospital, your birth parents, and the legal system. You may need to adjust your expectations or re- evaluate your response to certain situations. Not everyone thinks the same way that we think or sees things the same way that we see things. What you would do in a particle instance, may not be what another may decide to do. Flexibility is a must-have for your adoption journey.
Sense of Humor
Adopting a child can be a major challenge for adoptive parents. Friends and Family have the best intentions, but sometimes say things that are not very supportive or helpful. There can be some stressful moments, like when you drive across the states trying to get to the birth mother when you learn she is in labor and you leave your car seat and diaper bag at home. Having a sense of humor that allows you to laugh at yourself and the situation will help make everything feel more tolerable. Remember, laughter is the best medicine.
Educable
You can never know all there is to know about adoption or what it is like to be an adoptee. Be willing to continue learning everything you can about how to parent your new child. Take classes on how to be more emphatic and understanding of their background and their loss. Ask your adoption agency for a list of books that you can read to learn more about a particular area, especially one where you might be struggling. Remember that what worked for one child may not work for another. Always be teachable so that you can be the best parent you can be.
Consistency
Children need to know that they are safe in your home. One of the easiest ways to create that feeling of safety is to offer consistency with your parenting style. Provide consistent consequences with certain behaviors. Children will learn what the expectations are and will know what to expect. Create consistent bedtime routines and consistent ways of expressing love and affection. This is where safety and security are truly formed.
Acceptance
You never know what a child might be experiencing or what sort of behavior they will display. A parent needs to have unconditional acceptance for the child while dealing with behaviors through discipline. We all want to be accepted and loved. It is equally important to let them know that you accept their birth parents as well as they are part of their birth parents. As you love and accept their birth mother, you love and accept them.
Loving Heart
Perhaps the most important quality for a parent to possess is a loving heart. While every child does need safety and stability, they also need a parent who is going to love them unconditionally and champion them through the years. If you know that you have a loving heart, it will be easier for you to add all these other attributes to your repertoire of skills. It is important for an adoptee to know how loved they are. They are loved by their adoptive parents and they are loved by their birth parents as well. A lot of people loved them and made decisions that they felt were in their best interest.