As you go through an adoption plan as a birth mother, it is only natural to be curious about the adoptive family. Although you will already know a great deal about them from their profile, you might want to meet them face to face. As we near this time in an adoption plan we always seem to get the same questions. Here are some of our most frequent ones.
Will I have a choice of whether or not I meet the Adoptive Parents?
Yes. You will always be given a choice, and you can change your mind at any time. You can meet prior to delivery, at the hospital, or after the signing of consents. Most birth mothers will say yes they would like to meet before delivery. The choice is always yours to make.
Where will we meet?
I like to set up a lunch date at a restaurant of your choosing. The meeting usually includes the adoptive parents, birth parents, and birth mother coordinator. If you feel more comfortable bringing a friend or family member along, that is fine too. The birth mother coordinator is there to help facilitate the meeting.
What will we talk about?
This is a time when both parties can talk about where they grew up, their likes and dislikes, their family values, and family dynamics. We can also discuss your hospital plan, and the role of the adoptive parents at the hospital.
What if I am nervous? Will they like me?
Everyone is nervous! The conversation always seems to flow without awkwardness or hesitation. The adoptive parents will love you and respect you for your bravery. You are helping them create their family.
Should I take a picture with them?
If you are comfortable taking a picture, it will give the Adoptive Parents a photo that can be shared and become a special memento for the adoptee.
This meeting is a unique and emotional experience. Your adoption coordinator will guide you through this special event. Most birth mothers say “ I feel so much better, I am so glad I met them.” This meeting may spark further communication if that is what you would like. This is your adoption plan and these are your choices.